Remy Goes to Camp

Remy loves the night hours at camp. He also knows exactly what goes wrong in them. A guide to staying safe, dry, and unvisited by raccoons after dark.

Remy doesn't eat, which gives him unbiased clarity on camp food safety. A guide to cookouts, coolers, and not turning dinner into the horror story of the summer.

Remy cannot apply a bandage, which he finds deeply frustrating. He compensates by knowing exactly what you should do instead. A practical first aid guide for camp.

Remy has personal feelings about ghost stories, and also strong opinions about telling them safely. A guide to campfire storytelling that doesn't end with anyone running into the dark.

Remy is immune to sunburn and heat exhaustion, which he tries not to be smug about. Here's what the rest of us actually need to know about staying safe in summer heat.

Animals sense Remy in ways humans generally can't. This gives him unique insight into camp wildlife — and strong opinions about how you should handle those encounters.

Remy navigates the woods by passing directly through obstacles, which is admittedly an unfair advantage. Here's how the rest of us should hike safely.

Remy can hover over the lake indefinitely without issue. You cannot. Here's everything camp swimmers need to know about staying safe in and around the water.

Remy has watched centuries of humans be cavalier with open flames, and he has thoughts. Strong ones. Here's what you actually need to know about campfire safety.

Remy arrived at camp three days early. He still read the orientation guide. Here's what every first-time camper — living or otherwise — needs to know before the first day of camp.